ANGER MANAGEMENT

Analysis & Coping with Anger

• Review the results – Where does getting angry to the point of aggression get you?
• Fear of change – Are you staying in frustrating situations and relationships, getting angry rather than taking a risk to change?
• Is your anger irrational – Are you finding yourself intolerant because of rigid, irrational ideas? – “should” “must” “can’t stand”.
• Do you get angry because no one gives you attention – Are you feeling you must be noticed, praised and appreciated?
• Awareness of the harm of anger and violence. Are you too fearful of this (anger/violence), or are you too unaware of this?
• Do you jump to conclusions – Are you assigning motives to the actions of others without checking this out first?
• Overcome feelings of inadequacy – Are you working to improve your self-esteem and confidence?
• Fair fighting: This is a way to use anger constructively. Be assertive, not aggressive: Listen carefully to the opponent. Restate his views before giving an answer. Agree on whether you both desire change. Restate the agreement.
• Avoidance of drugs and alcohol – They increase the risk of uncontrollable anger coming to the surface.
• Lack of reward for angry or violent outbursts – Uncomfortable anger will get you nowhere in the long run.
• Accept human fallibility – Your own and others. Everyone makes mistakes. No one is perfect.
• When accused, you can at times use rational thought with others – ‘I made a mistake – Why make yourself needlessly upset over it?”
• Beware of your own vindictiveness – Revenge keeps you emotionally involved with your opponents practically forever, consumes large amounts of time and energy, distracts you from more constructive goals.
• Philosophy of non-violence – To live without designating those who seriously disagree with you as enemies.
• Focusing on relating to others – During non-angry times, do you take time to work out problems or do you avoid dealing with the problem?
• Discriminate between the constructive and destructive aspects of anger. Anger is a valid and helpful emotion if expressed appropriately.
• Methods to overcome anger – Relaxation, Meditation, Games, Physical Exercise.
• General undisturbability – Have you worked to overcome feelings of self-doubt, vulnerability, and inadequacy? If you feel badly about yourself, you’ll get angry more easily.